May 2009
3 posts
Here’s my ditty of the week. For some reason...
April 2009
8 posts
A Conversation at the Grownup Table, as Imagined...
MOM: Pass the wine, please. I want to become crazy.
DAD: O.K.
GRANDMOTHER: Did you see the politics? It made me angry.
DAD: Me, too. When it was over, I had sex.
UNCLE: I’m having sex right now.
DAD: We all are.
MOM: Let’s talk about which kid I like the best.
DAD: (laughing) You know, but you won’t tell.
MOM: If they ask me again, I might tell.
FRIEND FROM WORK: Hey, guess what! My voice is pretty loud!
DAD: (laughing) There are actual monsters in the world, but when my kids ask I pretend like there aren’t.
MOM: I’m angry! I’m angry all of a sudden!
DAD: I’m angry, too! We’re angry at each other!
MOM: Now everything is fine.
DAD: We just saw the PG-13 movie. It was so good.
MOM: There was a big sex.
FRIEND FROM WORK: I am the loudest! I am the loudest!
(Everybody laughs.)
MOM: I had a lot of wine, and now I’m crazy!
GRANDFATHER: Hey, do you guys know what God looks like?
ALL: Yes.
GRANDFATHER: Don’t tell the kids.
A little something.
“Suddenly, the silence was broken by the susurrus of a distant queef. I knew then...”
– Tales of Woe: The Memoirs of Pinsophocles
Shakes and Bakes
I hope my followers delight to read…
Feast upon Titus Andronicus now:
(Iambic Pentameter, yea bitches!)
Hark, villains! I will grind your bones to dust And with your blood and it I’ll make a paste, And of the paste a coffin I will rear And make two pasties of your shameful heads, And bid that strumpet, your unhallow’d dam, Like to the earth swallow her own increase. This is...
A little something something.
CAH
Played Cards Against Humanity last night and it was AWESOME.
Favorite round:
What did Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
A can of whoop-ass
Puberty
Indiana Jones in the Refrigerator
A beginning to something I did.
March 2009
2 posts
Our new song with a female vocalist. Check out...
